生命是短暂的

Life is Short

January 2016 2016 年 1 月

Life is short, as everyone knows. When I was a kid I used to wonder about this. Is life actually short, or are we really complaining about its finiteness? Would we be just as likely to feel life was short if we lived 10 times as long?
生命是短暂的，这是众所周知的事实。小时候，我常常思考这个问题。生命真的短暂吗，还是我们只是在抱怨它的有限性？如果我们活的时间是现在的十倍，我们是否也会觉得生命短暂？

Since there didn’t seem any way to answer this question, I stopped wondering about it. Then I had kids. That gave me a way to answer the question, and the answer is that life actually is short.
由于似乎没有答案，我停止了思考。后来我有了孩子。这给了我一个回答问题的方法，答案是生命确实短暂。

Having kids showed me how to convert a continuous quantity, time, into discrete quantities. You only get 52 weekends with your 2 year old. If Christmas-as-magic lasts from say ages 3 to 10, you only get to watch your child experience it 8 times. And while it’s impossible to say what is a lot or a little of a continuous quantity like time, 8 is not a lot of something. If you had a handful of 8 peanuts, or a shelf of 8 books to choose from, the quantity would definitely seem limited, no matter what your lifespan was.
有了孩子后，我明白了如何将连续量——时间，转化为离散量。你只有 52 个周末与两岁的孩子共度。如果圣诞节的魔法从大约 3 岁持续到 10 岁，你只有 8 次机会观看孩子体验它。虽然我们无法说连续量如时间多少算多，多少算少，但 8 次绝对不算多。如果你手里只有一把 8 颗花生，或者书架上只有 8 本书可供选择，无论你的寿命有多长，数量都会显得非常有限。

Ok, so life actually is short. Does it make any difference to know that?
好吧，所以生命确实短暂。知道这个事实有什么区别吗？

It has for me. It means arguments of the form “Life is too short for x” have great force. It’s not just a figure of speech to say that life is too short for something. It’s not just a synonym for annoying. If you find yourself thinking that life is too short for something, you should try to eliminate it if you can.
它对我而言确实如此。它意味着“生命太短暂，无法做某事”这类争论具有强大的力量。说生命太短暂，无法做某事，并非仅仅是一种比喻。它也不是令人厌烦的同义词。如果你发现自己认为生命太短暂，无法做某事，你应该尝试消除它，如果可能的话。

When I ask myself what I’ve found life is too short for, the word that pops into my head is “bullshit.” I realize that answer is somewhat tautological. It’s almost the definition of bullshit that it’s the stuff that life is too short for. And yet bullshit does have a distinctive character. There’s something fake about it. It’s the junk food of experience. ¹ 当我问自己生命太短暂，无法做的是什么时，浮现在脑海中的词是“废话”。我意识到这个答案是有些同义反复的。废话几乎就是生命太短暂，无法做的定义。然而废话确实有其独特的特征。它有点虚假。它是经验的垃圾食品。¹

If you ask yourself what you spend your time on that’s bullshit, you probably already know the answer. Unnecessary meetings, pointless disputes, bureaucracy, posturing, dealing with other people’s mistakes, traffic jams, addictive but unrewarding pastimes.
如果你问自己你花时间在什么上面是废话，你可能已经知道答案了。不必要的会议，无意义的争执，官僚主义，装腔作势，处理别人的错误，交通堵塞，上瘾但无回报的消遣。

There are two ways this kind of thing gets into your life: it’s either forced on you, or it tricks you. To some extent you have to put up with the bullshit forced on you by circumstances. You need to make money, and making money consists mostly of errands. Indeed, the law of supply and demand ensures that: the more rewarding some kind of work is, the cheaper people will do it. It may be that less bullshit is forced on you than you think, though. There has always been a stream of people who opt out of the default grind and go live somewhere where opportunities are fewer in the conventional sense, but life feels more authentic. This could become more common.
这种事情进入你生活有两种方式：要么是被强迫，要么是它欺骗了你。在一定程度上，你必须忍受环境强加给你的那些狗屁。你需要赚钱，而赚钱主要就是跑腿。确实，供求法则确保了这一点：某种工作的回报越丰厚，人们就越愿意廉价地做它。不过，强加给你的狗屁可能比你想象的要少。一直以来都有一些人选择退出默认的苦役，去某个传统意义上机会更少但生活感觉更真实的地方生活。这种情况可能会越来越普遍。

You can do it on a smaller scale without moving. The amount of time you have to spend on bullshit varies between employers. Most large organizations (and many small ones) are steeped in it. But if you consciously prioritize bullshit avoidance over other factors like money and prestige, you can probably find employers that will waste less of your time.
你也可以在不搬家的情况下，以小规模的方式做到这一点。你在不同雇主那里需要花费在狗屁上的时间各不相同。大多数大组织（以及许多小组织）都深陷其中。但如果你有意识地优先考虑避免狗屁，而不是其他因素如金钱和声望，你很可能找到那些会浪费你更少时间的雇主。

If you’re a freelancer or a small company, you can do this at the level of individual customers. If you fire or avoid toxic customers, you can decrease the amount of bullshit in your life by more than you decrease your income.
如果你是自由职业者或小公司，你可以在与单个客户互动的层面上做到这一点。如果你解雇或避开有毒的客户，你减少生活中的废话的数量，可能比你减少的收入还要多。

But while some amount of bullshit is inevitably forced on you, the bullshit that sneaks into your life by tricking you is no one’s fault but your own. And yet the bullshit you choose may be harder to eliminate than the bullshit that’s forced on you. Things that lure you into wasting your time have to be really good at tricking you. An example that will be familiar to a lot of people is arguing online. When someone contradicts you, they’re in a sense attacking you. Sometimes pretty overtly. Your instinct when attacked is to defend yourself. But like a lot of instincts, this one wasn’t designed for the world we now live in. Counterintuitive as it feels, it’s better most of the time not to defend yourself. Otherwise these people are literally taking your life. ² 但是，虽然一些废话不可避免地强加给你，而那些通过欺骗你溜进你生活中的废话，则不是任何人的错，而是你自己的错。然而，你选择的那种废话可能比强加给你的废话更难消除。那些引诱你浪费时间的东西必须非常擅长欺骗你。一个很多人都熟悉的是在线争论的例子。当有人反驳你时，从某种意义上说，他们是在攻击你。有时相当明显。当你被攻击时，你的本能是自卫。但像许多本能一样，这个本能并不是为我们现在生活的世界设计的。虽然感觉反直觉，但大多数时候最好不要自卫。否则这些人实际上是在消耗你的生命。²

Arguing online is only incidentally addictive. There are more dangerous things than that. As I’ve written before, one byproduct of technical progress is that things we like tend to become more addictive. Which means we will increasingly have to make a conscious effort to avoid addictions — to stand outside ourselves and ask “is this how I want to be spending my time?”
网络争论只是偶然令人上瘾。比这更危险的事情还有很多。正如我之前写过的，技术进步的一个副产品是，我们喜欢的事物往往会变得更加令人上瘾。这意味着我们将不得不越来越有意识地努力避免成瘾——跳出自我，问自己“我想要这样度过我的时间吗？”

As well as avoiding bullshit, one should actively seek out things that matter. But different things matter to different people, and most have to learn what matters to them. A few are lucky and realize early on that they love math or taking care of animals or writing, and then figure out a way to spend a lot of time doing it. But most people start out with a life that’s a mix of things that matter and things that don’t, and only gradually learn to distinguish between them.
除了避免废话，我们还应该主动寻找真正重要的事物。但不同的人认为重要的事物不同，大多数人必须学会什么对自己重要。有些人很幸运，很早就意识到自己热爱数学、照顾动物或写作，然后想办法花大量时间去做这些事。但大多数人一开始的生活是既包含重要事物也包含不重要事物的混合体，并且只有逐渐学会区分它们。

For the young especially, much of this confusion is induced by the artificial situations they find themselves in. In middle school and high school, what the other kids think of you seems the most important thing in the world. But when you ask adults what they got wrong at that age, nearly all say they cared too much what other kids thought of them.
对年轻人来说，这种困惑很大程度上是由他们所处的人造环境引起的。在中学和高中时，其他孩子怎么看你似乎是世界上最重要的事。但当你问成年人他们那个年纪时犯了什么错时，几乎所有人都会说他们过于在意其他孩子怎么想。

One heuristic for distinguishing stuff that matters is to ask yourself whether you’ll care about it in the future. Fake stuff that matters usually has a sharp peak of seeming to matter. That’s how it tricks you. The area under the curve is small, but its shape jabs into your consciousness like a pin.
一个区分重要事物的启发式方法是问自己未来是否会关心它。看似重要的事物通常有一个急剧的峰值，这就是它欺骗你的方式。曲线下的面积很小，但其形状像针一样刺入你的意识。

The things that matter aren’t necessarily the ones people would call “important.” Having coffee with a friend matters. You won’t feel later like that was a waste of time.
重要的事物不一定是人们会称之为”重要”的那些。和朋友喝咖啡是重要的事。你不会觉得那段时间被浪费了。

One great thing about having small children is that they make you spend time on things that matter: them. They grab your sleeve as you’re staring at your phone and say “will you play with me?” And odds are that is in fact the bullshit-minimizing option.
有小孩子的一个好处是，他们会让你花时间在重要的事情上：他们。当你盯着手机时，他们会抓住你的袖子说”你会和我玩吗？“而很可能这确实是减少废话的选择。

If life is short, we should expect its shortness to take us by surprise. And that is just what tends to happen. You take things for granted, and then they’re gone. You think you can always write that book, or climb that mountain, or whatever, and then you realize the window has closed. The saddest windows close when other people die. Their lives are short too. After my mother died, I wished I’d spent more time with her. I lived as if she’d always be there. And in her typical quiet way she encouraged that illusion. But an illusion it was. I think a lot of people make the same mistake I did.
如果生命短暂，我们应当预料到它的短暂会突然降临。而事实往往如此。你习以为常的事物，转眼间就消失无踪。你以为总能写那本书，或攀登那座山，或做任何你想做的事，然后你才意识到机会已经错过。最令人悲伤的，是当其他人离世时，那些机会也随之关闭。他们的生命同样短暂。母亲去世后，我后悔没有花更多时间陪伴她。我生活得仿佛她永远都在那里。而她以她特有的安静方式，鼓励着这种幻想。但那终究只是幻想。我想很多人犯了和我一样的错误。

The usual way to avoid being taken by surprise by something is to be consciously aware of it. Back when life was more precarious, people used to be aware of death to a degree that would now seem a bit morbid. I’m not sure why, but it doesn’t seem the right answer to be constantly reminding oneself of the grim reaper hovering at everyone’s shoulder. Perhaps a better solution is to look at the problem from the other end. Cultivate a habit of impatience about the things you most want to do. Don’t wait before climbing that mountain or writing that book or visiting your mother. You don’t need to be constantly reminding yourself why you shouldn’t wait. Just don’t wait.
通常避免被某事意外击倒是要有意识地意识到它。在生活更加动荡不安的过去，人们对死亡的意识程度现在看来有点病态。我不确定为什么，但不断提醒自己死神正悬在每个人肩头似乎不是正确的答案。也许更好的办法是从另一个角度看待这个问题。培养对最想做的事情的急躁习惯。不要在攀登那座山、写那本书或探望你母亲之前等待。你不需要不断提醒自己为什么不应该等待。只需不要等待。

I can think of two more things one does when one doesn’t have much of something: try to get more of it, and savor what one has. Both make sense here.
当一个人拥有的不多时，我能想到的另外两件事是：试图获得更多，以及品味自己拥有的。这两点在这里都很有道理。

How you live affects how long you live. Most people could do better. Me among them.
你如何生活影响着你活多久。大多数人本可以做得更好。我也是其中之一。

But you can probably get even more effect by paying closer attention to the time you have. It’s easy to let the days rush by. The “flow” that imaginative people love so much has a darker cousin that prevents you from pausing to savor life amid the daily slurry of errands and alarms. One of the most striking things I’ve read was not in a book, but the title of one: James Salter’s Burning the Days.
但你或许能通过更专注地利用拥有的时间获得更大的效果。日子很容易就匆匆流逝。“flow”——那些富有想象力的人非常喜爱的状态，却有一个阴暗的亲戚，它阻止你在日常的杂务和闹钟声中停下来品味生活。我读过的最令人震撼的东西并非来自一本书，而是某本书的书名：詹姆斯·萨尔特的《燃烧的日子》。

It is possible to slow time somewhat. I’ve gotten better at it. Kids help. When you have small children, there are a lot of moments so perfect that you can’t help noticing.
你可以让时间慢下来一些。我在这方面已经做得更好了。孩子们能帮上忙。当你有小孩子时，有很多完美到无法不注意的瞬间。

It does help too to feel that you’ve squeezed everything out of some experience. The reason I’m sad about my mother is not just that I miss her but that I think of all the things we could have done that we didn’t. My oldest son will be 7 soon. And while I miss the 3 year old version of him, I at least don’t have any regrets over what might have been. We had the best time a daddy and a 3 year old ever had.
当你觉得已经从某些经历中榨取了所有可能时，这也会有所帮助。我对我母亲感到悲伤，不仅仅是因为我思念她，还因为我想到我们本可以做到却没做的事情。我最大的儿子很快就要 7 岁了。虽然我怀念他三岁时的样子，但我至少没有对可能失去的感到任何遗憾。我和他度过了最美好的时光，一个父亲和一个三岁孩子的时光。

Relentlessly prune bullshit, don’t wait to do things that matter, and savor the time you have. That’s what you do when life is short.
无情地剪除无用的琐事，不要等到去做重要的事情，并珍惜你拥有的时间。这就是当生命短暂时你应该做的事情。

Notes 笔记

Thanks to Jessica Livingston and Geoff Ralston for reading drafts of this.
感谢 Jessica Livingston 和 Geoff Ralston 阅读这份草稿。